Internet highlights – w/c 9th December 2018

15 12 2018

Does anyone else feel that when they watch #strictly, there needs to be a small square in the corner that appears, with @MarianKeyes providing her commentary?

— Sarahsarah (@SMilbourne) December 8, 2018

Channel 4 invited me to take part in their Brexit debate this evening, but I felt that would be unfair on the other participants. Nobody would pay any attention to what they say given I look this cute behind a podium. #C4Brexit pic.twitter.com/m2Gana9d9o

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 9, 2018

Rarely seen “eat your vegetables or we’re buying a puppy and going to Disneyland” parenting tactic there pic.twitter.com/fKZmoPovlM

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 9, 2018

The thing is, the best way to understand Theresa May’s predicament is to imagine that 52 percent of Britain had voted that the government should build a submarine out of cheese.

— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) December 10, 2018

Jesus sleeping away in a Pret A Manger – requested by @fatpete_86 pic.twitter.com/DOBoH0LxK1

— Jim'll Paint It (@Jimllpaintit) December 11, 2018

Next Tory leader, latest odds:

The one who lied on a bus 6-1
The one who lied about impact assessments 8-1
The one who lied to Parliament and resigned 10-1
The one who lied and didn’t resign 15-1
The one who destroyed the NHS 20-1
The one who didn’t know we were an island 8-1

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 11, 2018

Me after me eat cookie: https://t.co/hLyensxQX8

— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) December 11, 2018

.@theresa_may If it goes wrong tonight I can promise you a bright future in podcasting…

— Ed Miliband (@Ed_Miliband) December 12, 2018

Listen, Tories. You had a vote on Theresa May in 2016. How dare you ask for a second vote just because now you can see how shit everything is and her promises were lies? She won. That’s democracy, get over it!#peoplesvote

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 12, 2018

On the thirteenth day of Christmas…pic.twitter.com/Ct126hPSbh

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 13, 2018

Tories reveal instructions for dealing with a crisis: pic.twitter.com/QYuRfKHZ89

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) December 12, 2018

Jesus sleeping away in a Pret A Manger – requested by @fatpete_86 pic.twitter.com/DOBoH0LxK1

— Jim'll Paint It (@Jimllpaintit) December 11, 2018

When engineers get bored. pic.twitter.com/gUh641da3z

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 15, 2018

So which is it? pic.twitter.com/IDuQSGcAWW

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 14, 2018

pic.twitter.com/pBJgGIQ1Yg

— J.John (@Canonjjohn) December 15, 2018

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A post shared by Matt Haig (@mattzhaig) on Dec 9, 2018 at 2:22pm PST

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First thing I saw when I woke up. Swipe for a charming if not slightly sexually aggressive Christmas tale of generosity…with a happy ending, so to speak.

A post shared by Greg James (@greg_james) on Dec 12, 2018 at 8:24am PST

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Here’s a milestone worth celebrating! There are now TWO MILLION children being cared for in our programs by more than 7,000 local churches in 25 countries around the world! 🎉🙌🏾 . “This is really a celebration of our supporters and the work our church partners are doing. The staff and thousands of volunteers at the local church level are the ones who are providing life-changing care for these children. And our supporters around the world enable them to do so. This is a celebration of their commitment.” – Compassion President and CEO, Santiago “Jimmy” Mellado

A post shared by Compassion International 🌎 (@compassion) on Dec 12, 2018 at 10:41am PST