ineke.co.uk

Who will it be? @bbcstrictly pic.twitter.com/cHu6ilvRwI

— Aljaz Skorjanec (@AljazSkorjanec) December 15, 2018

Kevin Clifton’s ex wife, Karen, being the first to congratulate him and being so happy for him is just bloody lovely.#StrictlyFinal pic.twitter.com/nEcxSPpOUz

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 15, 2018

Still one of my fave things on #Strictly is the time when Tess looked like she'd accidentally put her head through her dress arm hole. pic.twitter.com/SefbK7xGja

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 15, 2018

It just hit me today that the best show on telly is saying farewell until next year! And who puts a smile on millions of faces every weekend? A team of incredibly talented people who work tirelessly all day every day to make it happen. So proud to be a part of it! @bbcstrictly pic.twitter.com/elWirT2TeE

— Aljaz Skorjanec (@AljazSkorjanec) December 17, 2018

I am resisting all calls to hold a second referendum on the ‘World Cup Of Chocolate’. #DairyMilkMeansDairyMilk

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 16, 2018

pic.twitter.com/Q3SwEalWgm

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) December 15, 2018

IT'S COMING HOME! 🎶

Watch #SPOTY LIVE on @BBCOne and here: https://t.co/lGCzvNDJFG pic.twitter.com/txW9OgKbiC

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) December 16, 2018

When my dad came back from serving in the gulf war I held him so tight as he walked off the coach at the base.I couldn’t let go.I remember it like it was yesterday.This brought it all back.Thoughts are with every family missing loved ones this Christmas pic.twitter.com/BFdIg4AjM3

— James Corden (@JKCorden) December 17, 2018

[nature documentary voice]
And here we have two pomegranate robins, debating whether or not Die Hard counts as a Christmas film. pic.twitter.com/DFWqzUP23L

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 17, 2018

A guy walks into a bar and sees a girl.

Guy: You're the most average girl here.

Girl: You're so mean.

Guy: No, you are.

— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) December 17, 2018

Are we in a Presidency or a Parliamentary Democracy? The Prime Minister has no majority, yet acts like she and she alone can determine all our laws, schedule all our votes, and make all our decisions. Sorry to go all Cromwell here, but Parliament can’t let this stand.

— Armando Iannucci (@Aiannucci) December 17, 2018

What a Bude-iful week! We gave one of our car park tunnels a very special festive makeover and just look at the reaction! ✨ #budetunnel pic.twitter.com/HDWyjr9Y0V

— Sainsbury's (@sainsburys) December 12, 2018

NHS starting salaries:

Nurse £23.0k
Paramedic £23.0k
Midwife £23.0k
Junior doctor £27.1k
Radiographer £23.0k
Healthcare assistant £17.5k
Physiotherapist £23.0k
Dietician £23.0k
Occupational therapist £23.0k

Are you actually *trying* to destroy the NHS, @sajidjavid? pic.twitter.com/cR05rpDO8s

— Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) December 16, 2018

Jesus knows well the pain of not being welcomed. May our hearts not be closed as were the houses in Bethlehem. #Internationalmigrantsday

— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) December 18, 2018

These 2 clips, just 7 days apart, sum up the rank, self serving hypocrisy of Jacob Rees Mogg and every thing that is rotten in this Government which now puts desperate self preservation before national interest pic.twitter.com/bDGpQHM6xh

— Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) December 17, 2018

Here’s the physical scar that I still have from falling over the set in tonight’s QI. [Not pictured: emotional scars] pic.twitter.com/8SZbJCcHbo

— James Harchangel Gabriel (@JamesHarkin) December 18, 2018

I’ve watched this about 10 times and have belly laughed every time. I now share it with you to do the same. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/gEj0FaNTV7

— Thomas J (@TJ_Hewitt) December 17, 2018

Off to Parliament to see if Jeremy Corbyn fancies calling One a “stupid woman” too… pic.twitter.com/LLa0nqEO6Y

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) December 19, 2018

So @Number10cat off to check with the lip readers… pic.twitter.com/NwbQ8XBSOK

— Kay Burley (@KayBurley) December 19, 2018

The Deputy White House Communications Director, Sam Seaborn, has given his view 😳😂 https://t.co/TfkVTtYcbJ

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) December 19, 2018

#StupidWoman pic.twitter.com/9ECRSPdFJt

— ChinnersCartoons (@Chinners2) December 19, 2018

#Thingsyouthoughtyoudneversee https://t.co/nQs0M2fP3S

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) December 19, 2018

‘Elf’ is the millennials’ ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’

— Mat Osman (@matosman) December 19, 2018

Following yesterday’s unpleasantness I thought I should be honest with you all: to us cats, you’re all stupid. But we love you anyway.

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 20, 2018

Waking up at Christmas and realising it's still only 3am and you can't wake everyone else up yet… 🤐 #saintsfc pic.twitter.com/omulj3duXQ

— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) December 19, 2018

Get the RAF on the sodding blower and shoot the bastards out of the air. #GatwickDrones

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) December 20, 2018

On BBC News just now there was a drone shot of police at Gatwick looking for drones.

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) December 20, 2018

I’m not an expert on drones, airports or police procedure. But I do know this. If Gatwick Airport was in the USA, that drone would have been shot down by now and everyone would be getting on with their lives…

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) December 20, 2018

Unconfirmed reports that the price of a Freddo in the WHS in Gatwick South has now reached £847

— carpet (@WHS_Carpet) December 20, 2018

There is no truth whatsoever in the rumour that the DoE was called in to shoot the #GatwickDrone out of the sky. He was at the time shooting various animals, members of the press, members of the Markle family etc at Sandringham.

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) December 21, 2018

Awkward. pic.twitter.com/qfkkQmU1CG

— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) December 21, 2018

And in today's news pic.twitter.com/BW0l21Kov9

— Dave (@davechannel) December 21, 2018

Fiona on Facebook just posted that she can’t believe it’s only 4 sleeps until Crimbo and she can’t wait to spend time with her gawjus famalam so I’ve just phoned the police and reported her.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 21, 2018

Due to a demo outside the BBC, I’ve been told I can’t actually leave Wogan House. Ironically.

— Simon Mayo (@simonmayo) December 21, 2018

pic.twitter.com/vfeC52aKxd

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) December 21, 2018

Keeping it topical! 🙂

‘You really are a stupid man!’
‘You really are a stupid- people.’#Satire @LeeMack @SallyBretton #NotGoingOut #NotGoingOutLive 🙏 #LeeMack #SallyBretton pic.twitter.com/q4XLmp8gaG

— #MrCatwoman (@KingRichard76) December 21, 2018

Imagine singing the Elements Song live and with new lyrics. Those guys deserve a medal for pulling that off #NotGoingOutLive

— Craig Randall (@crandall87) December 21, 2018

Ways to survive Christmas:

1. Keep a routine.
2. Don't compare your Christmas to the best bits of other people's.
3. Find some quiet moments. Retreat to a bedroom.
4. Read.
5. Do yoga. (Unfestive/useful.)
6. Know many feel like you. Come online and find them.
7. Stop shopping.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) December 21, 2018

I only count physical sales for the UK Chart. So congratulations to Freya Ridings for your Christmas Number One which, as far as I can see, sold the most physical copies out of the whole top 100 with just 186.

— James Harchangel Gabriel (@JamesHarkin) December 21, 2018

Pro-tip: Don't hold your hands behind your back when you're taking a photo with a group of coppers 😏 pic.twitter.com/uo1Vk1W88y

— PC Dave Wise (@CopThatCooks) December 20, 2018

‘Sandra, can you fill up the Rudolph carrot display?’
‘Sure. Which ones are carrots again?’
‘The orange ones.’
‘Got it.’ pic.twitter.com/TM99lfL9BI

— Rob Drummond (@RobDrummond) December 22, 2018

Hey UK friends. I just had to do this.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄💖🇬🇧✨🇪🇺 pic.twitter.com/uz9NpnoB2J

— Terry Reintke (@TerryReintke) December 20, 2018

I made a restaurant for my 2 and a half year old pic.twitter.com/bqQ40bFQ4F

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 18, 2018

I only count physical sales for the UK Chart. So congratulations to Freya Ridings for your Christmas Number One which, as far as I can see, sold the most physical copies out of the whole top 100 with just 186.

— James Harchangel Gabriel (@JamesHarkin) December 21, 2018

The moment everyone found out @MrEdByrne went on Blind Date in 1993 is ABSOLUTELY priceless. 😂😂 #MockTheWeek pic.twitter.com/PhHfq4KJ9h

— BBC Two (@BBCTwo) December 22, 2018

My cat did not want to be at the vet today. So he kept sticking his head in this trash hole. I died. pic.twitter.com/Q3z4YoJJMa

— Ashly Perez (@itsashlyperez) December 19, 2018