ineke.co.uk

[inserting row in excel]

Excel: copy font format from the row above?

Me: no I’ll handle it

Excel: and copy border from below?

Me: no why?

Excel: idk

Me: *typing number* w-why did you make 31,320 a date?

Excel: it’s my birthday 🙂

— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) March 28, 2019

When you’re booked to go on BBC News at 7 in the morning but were still off your tits at 5 so you let your colleague do all the talking…….pic.twitter.com/dNbkAMQPel

— david hales (@westhamster2) March 28, 2019

Brazil vs Pluto: 2376km pic.twitter.com/yp5Rw51DMa

— Amazing Maps (@amazingmap) March 30, 2019

Building up the world country by country in order of population density pic.twitter.com/Ho4ZF7kpXr

— Amazing Maps (@amazingmap) March 30, 2019

It’s pretty disgraceful that women are not only paid less than men but that Mother’s Day is also an hour shorter than Father’s Day.

— Jake Lambert (@jakelambertcom) March 31, 2019

Can’t win a trophy you never qualified to play in 🤷‍♂️ #topflightonlyforme 😉 https://t.co/LtgAAbpter

— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) March 31, 2019

#recap This poster left in a dentist’s waiting room certainly sells the skills of the dentisthttps://t.co/XaNC2XL4fq pic.twitter.com/nuTdogC78O

— The Poke (@ThePoke) March 31, 2019

pic.twitter.com/qgbxbGM16I

— Nando's (@NandosUK) March 8, 2019

IT'S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! Series of indicative votes currently taking place over what to put on the cover. Joke writers preparing fourth attempt to get speech bubble originally scheduled for post-Brexit edition passed by editor. In shops and with subscribers from Wednesday!

— Private Eye Magazine (@PrivateEyeNews) April 1, 2019

Netherlands makes trains free on national book day for those who show a book instead of ticket https://t.co/OiAsiA4bfu

— The Independent (@Independent) April 1, 2019

It’s good to talk pic.twitter.com/vEpBbwnqyV

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 31, 2019

We will hold a referendum on the value of referenda , consult the nation on how it feels about being consulted #Manicfesto #indicativevotes2

— 📢 oFFiCiaL mONsTEr rAvINg lOOnY PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) April 1, 2019

Loved the disappearing Correspndent @SkyNews. Comedy moment in Downing Street. Like a trap door opened beneath her. pic.twitter.com/UnyO12PHf8

— Chris James TX (@ChrisJamesNews) April 1, 2019

You didn't think we could let #AprilFools just pass us by with @hollywills in our midst did you? 🙈

Watch the full prank on our This Morning app: https://t.co/NFyWGcIEIs @Schofe #ThisMorning pic.twitter.com/ytXR9MHufy

— This Morning (@thismorning) April 1, 2019

BREAKING: Government reveals Brexit was an April Fool’s prank all along – “We never even sent Article 50 letter”.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 1, 2019

The parroting of “Leave means Leave” feels, to me, like when you ask your mum why you can’t do something and she says “Because I said so” as she doesn’t really have a valid answer.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 2, 2019

Cabinet meets to figure out what to do with Brexit, as after 34 months with no progress whatsoever, an extra five hours should do the trick.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 2, 2019

We're sick of selling books, so this morning we held indicative votes on what kind of shop we should become.

Our options were:

-pet shop
-sweetshop
-pound store
-cheesemonger

All votes failed to pass, so we're selling books until April 12, when we become a Greggs by default.

— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) April 2, 2019

Being a bookseller is great and all, but it's a fairly crude term. It lacks gravitas, panache, a certain je ne sais quoi.

So, I am no longer a bookseller.

I am a bookmonger.

Come and see me so I can mong you some books.

— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) April 3, 2019

#Brexit Actually. A new rom com diddly pom pom pom from Richard Curtis. pic.twitter.com/XHEteO5hQM

— GailRenard (@GailRenard) April 3, 2019

Losing one minister is unfortunate.
Losing two ministers is careless.
Losing 35 ministers in a year suggests you’ve made a bet to see how many ministers you can get to quit before anyone notices… https://t.co/OD6Ccabvg5

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 3, 2019

Matt on #Brexit pic.twitter.com/yAakdxRxMa

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) April 4, 2019

Absolutely stunning. Over 10 years, the HPV vaccine has caused a 90% fall in rates of pre-cancerous cells in young women.

Cervical cancer is a horrible disease. Vaccines are life-saving ❤️ https://t.co/h5AOX3MFhS

— Dr Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) April 4, 2019

John Bercow is the waiter who just wants everyone to pay up and leave the restaurant whilst the group he’s been serving are arguing over how their bill should be split. pic.twitter.com/uHFmQp5S9Y

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 4, 2019

Prue Leith and Mary Berry in a death match in full wrestling garb. Mel & Sue are cheering for Mary whilst gorging on all the cakes they have missed out on. Sandi is the ring girl, Paul is making bread cat o nine tails for Prue and Noel is the moon – Kirsten Reddick pic.twitter.com/IuCjkM73hR

— Jim'll Paint It (@Jimllpaintit) April 4, 2019

Quite properly, David Attenborough is wearing his name badge so we know who he is. Who are the others? pic.twitter.com/INmt2Tdo1j

— Gyles Brandreth (@GylesB1) April 5, 2019

House of Commons: I think we might be the most embarrassing political institution the people have seen for awhile…

House of Lords: Hold my sherry.

— Joanna Hardy-Susskind (@Joanna__Hardy) April 5, 2019

BREXIT UPDATE: The Prime Minister has asked the EU for a Brexit extension to a date they’ve already said no to. She knows they’ll say no again, but she gets to blame them when they do. It’s all going swimmingly.

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 5, 2019

There comes a wonderful point in life, when you realise you’re allowed to eat an Easter egg without waiting for Easter.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 5, 2019

“Oh I’d love to but I can’t” – Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 5, 2019

Did you hear about the dog that was also a magician?

It was a Labracadabrador.

— Bargain Hunters (@Bargains90) April 5, 2019

Upset about the changes that might happen to passports after Brexit?
Poundland has got it covered. pic.twitter.com/4KwF00kWRN

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 6, 2019

This is sublime. pic.twitter.com/EHdsV0BcYc

— Aidan (@AidanCoughlan) March 31, 2017

Paul Rudd turns 50 today.

He’s 30 in the left photo. Nobody ages better than Paul Rudd. pic.twitter.com/Ef6H9mUHXT

— Lights, Camera, Barstool (@LightsCameraPod) April 6, 2019

How do I make this my ringtone https://t.co/98hrC1ZFka

— spag (@YesMissMurphy) April 5, 2019

h/t @TheChurchSofa pic.twitter.com/YQrQRRa5GD

— not the bible (@thenotthebible) April 5, 2019

yes I did it @HouseofCommons ! I bent the pipes, and I won't apologise, you all deserve it! #brexit #startfromscratch

— Uri Geller (@theurigeller) April 4, 2019

Peak Bath experience today. Southgate car wash said our car was too dirty unless we paid £56 for a Diamond service. Apparently they are car valeters not a car wash. Best take your sodding great car wash signs down then before getting back to lightly dusting Chelsea tractors?

— Carey Gilliland (@Madison_Oakley) April 6, 2019