Why the Toy Story films are genius!
[inserting row in excel]
Excel: copy font format from the row above?
Me: no I’ll handle it
Excel: and copy border from below?
Me: no why?
Excel: idk
Me: *typing number* w-why did you make 31,320 a date?
Excel: it’s my birthday 🙂
— clean slate 🦔 (@PleaseBeGneiss) March 28, 2019
The latest from @bobscartoons #brexit pic.twitter.com/P9YZbyDUnU
— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) March 30, 2019
When you’re booked to go on BBC News at 7 in the morning but were still off your tits at 5 so you let your colleague do all the talking…….pic.twitter.com/dNbkAMQPel
— david hales (@westhamster2) March 28, 2019
Brazil vs Pluto: 2376km pic.twitter.com/yp5Rw51DMa
— Amazing Maps™ (@amazingmap) March 30, 2019
This was so weird … pic.twitter.com/92nMweuVly
— Phil Wang (@PhilNWang) March 30, 2019
Building up the world country by country in order of population density pic.twitter.com/Ho4ZF7kpXr
— Amazing Maps™ (@amazingmap) March 30, 2019
Happy Mother’s Day pic.twitter.com/PM7n8yFh3w
— Greg James (@gregjames) March 31, 2019
It’s pretty disgraceful that women are not only paid less than men but that Mother’s Day is also an hour shorter than Father’s Day.
— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) March 31, 2019
Can’t win a trophy you never qualified to play in 🤷♂️ #topflightonlyforme 😉 https://t.co/LtgAAbpter
— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) March 31, 2019
#recap This poster left in a dentist’s waiting room certainly sells the skills of the dentisthttps://t.co/XaNC2XL4fq pic.twitter.com/nuTdogC78O
— The Poke (@ThePoke) March 31, 2019
Ever seen a Baby Octopus hatching? Here you go! pic.twitter.com/e8N6zlmGMn
— 41 Strange (@41Strange) March 31, 2019
— Nando's (@NandosUK) March 8, 2019
IT'S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! Series of indicative votes currently taking place over what to put on the cover. Joke writers preparing fourth attempt to get speech bubble originally scheduled for post-Brexit edition passed by editor. In shops and with subscribers from Wednesday!
— Private Eye Magazine (@PrivateEyeNews) April 1, 2019
Netherlands makes trains free on national book day for those who show a book instead of ticket https://t.co/OiAsiA4bfu
— The Independent (@Independent) April 1, 2019
It’s good to talk pic.twitter.com/vEpBbwnqyV
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 31, 2019
We will hold a referendum on the value of referenda , consult the nation on how it feels about being consulted #Manicfesto #indicativevotes2
— 📢 OfFiCIAL MoNstER rAVIng LOOnY PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) April 1, 2019
Loved the disappearing Correspndent @SkyNews. Comedy moment in Downing Street. Like a trap door opened beneath her. pic.twitter.com/UnyO12PHf8
— Chris James TX (@ChrisJamesNews) April 1, 2019
You didn't think we could let #AprilFools just pass us by with @hollywills in our midst did you? 🙈
Watch the full prank on our This Morning app: https://t.co/NFyWGcIEIs @Schofe #ThisMorning pic.twitter.com/ytXR9MHufy
— This Morning (@thismorning) April 1, 2019
BREAKING: Government reveals Brexit was an April Fool’s prank all along – “We never even sent Article 50 letter”.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 1, 2019
The parroting of “Leave means Leave” feels, to me, like when you ask your mum why you can’t do something and she says “Because I said so” as she doesn’t really have a valid answer.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 2, 2019
Cabinet meets to figure out what to do with Brexit, as after 34 months with no progress whatsoever, an extra five hours should do the trick.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 2, 2019
We're sick of selling books, so this morning we held indicative votes on what kind of shop we should become.
Our options were:
-pet shop
-sweetshop
-pound store
-cheesemongerAll votes failed to pass, so we're selling books until April 12, when we become a Greggs by default.
— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) April 2, 2019
Being a bookseller is great and all, but it's a fairly crude term. It lacks gravitas, panache, a certain je ne sais quoi.
So, I am no longer a bookseller.
I am a bookmonger.
Come and see me so I can mong you some books.
— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) April 3, 2019
#Brexit Actually. A new rom com diddly pom pom pom from Richard Curtis. pic.twitter.com/XHEteO5hQM
— GailRenard (@GailRenard) April 3, 2019
Losing one minister is unfortunate.
Losing two ministers is careless.
Losing 35 ministers in a year suggests you’ve made a bet to see how many ministers you can get to quit before anyone notices… https://t.co/OD6Ccabvg5— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 3, 2019
Matt on #Brexit pic.twitter.com/yAakdxRxMa
— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) April 4, 2019
Absolutely stunning. Over 10 years, the HPV vaccine has caused a 90% fall in rates of pre-cancerous cells in young women.
Cervical cancer is a horrible disease. Vaccines are life-saving ❤️ https://t.co/h5AOX3MFhS
— Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) April 4, 2019
John Bercow is the waiter who just wants everyone to pay up and leave the restaurant whilst the group he’s been serving are arguing over how their bill should be split. pic.twitter.com/uHFmQp5S9Y
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 4, 2019
Prue Leith and Mary Berry in a death match in full wrestling garb. Mel & Sue are cheering for Mary whilst gorging on all the cakes they have missed out on. Sandi is the ring girl, Paul is making bread cat o nine tails for Prue and Noel is the moon – Kirsten Reddick pic.twitter.com/IuCjkM73hR
— Jim'll Paint It (@Jimllpaintit) April 4, 2019
Holy shit – where do the ELITE have their parties then? https://t.co/FXk0MhIBOj
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) April 3, 2019
Quite properly, David Attenborough is wearing his name badge so we know who he is. Who are the others? pic.twitter.com/INmt2Tdo1j
— Gyles Brandreth (@GylesB1) April 5, 2019
House of Commons: I think we might be the most embarrassing political institution the people have seen for awhile…
House of Lords: Hold my sherry.
— Joanna Hardy (@Joanna__Hardy) April 5, 2019
BREXIT UPDATE: The Prime Minister has asked the EU for a Brexit extension to a date they’ve already said no to. She knows they’ll say no again, but she gets to blame them when they do. It’s all going swimmingly.
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 5, 2019
There comes a wonderful point in life, when you realise you’re allowed to eat an Easter egg without waiting for Easter.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 5, 2019
“Oh I’d love to but I can’t” – Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 5, 2019
Theresa May extending Article 50. pic.twitter.com/wI5Te6i7d6
— Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) April 5, 2019
Did you hear about the dog that was also a magician?
It was a Labracadabrador.
— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) April 5, 2019
When people say "I'm so humbled", they often mean "I'm so proud"…don't they?
— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) April 5, 2019
Trump saying oranges instead of origins is a red flag to anyone, like me, with parents who had a stroke.
He substitutes a word after, indicating he knows the right word is eluding him. This is common for people who have aphasia or frontotemporal dementia. pic.twitter.com/bQhzpWqTjc
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) April 3, 2019
Upset about the changes that might happen to passports after Brexit?
Poundland has got it covered. pic.twitter.com/4KwF00kWRN— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 6, 2019
This is sublime. pic.twitter.com/EHdsV0BcYc
— Aidan (@AidanCoughlan) March 31, 2017
Paul Rudd turns 50 today.
He’s 30 in the left photo. Nobody ages better than Paul Rudd. pic.twitter.com/Ef6H9mUHXT
— Lights, Camera, Pod (@LightsCameraPod) April 6, 2019
If you don't like a multicultural church, you are really going to hate heaven.
— Ed Stetzer (@edstetzer) April 5, 2019
How do I make this my ringtone pic.twitter.com/98hrC1ZFka
— Spaghephanie (@YesMissMurphy) April 5, 2019
h/t @TheChurchSofa pic.twitter.com/YQrQRRa5GD
— not the bible (@thenotthebible) April 5, 2019
yes I did it @HouseofCommons ! I bent the pipes, and I won't apologise, you all deserve it! #brexit #startfromscratch
— Uri Geller (@TheUriGeller) April 4, 2019
Peak Bath experience today. Southgate car wash said our car was too dirty unless we paid £56 for a Diamond service. Apparently they are car valeters not a car wash. Best take your sodding great car wash signs down then before getting back to lightly dusting Chelsea tractors?
— Carey Gilliland (@Madison_Oakley) April 6, 2019
View this post on InstagramClick in the LINK IN BIO if you want your eyes to get watery 😭
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View this post on InstagramTHE METRO ACTUALLY THOUGHT I PUT MY MUM IN A SKIP AND IT HAS MADE MY YEAR. Well done lads 👍🏼
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View this post on InstagramBut you can fix anything with glitter right @bbcstrictly? ✨🕺
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View this post on Instagram@kalesalad is a great account you should follow, but you never know when you might start crying
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View this post on Instagramsome pretty famous people at the @ourplanet Royal World Premiere but honestly nbd
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Anything to add...?