ineke.co.uk

9. Mozart, hobnob. Delicious on its own, and the foundations of many other biscuits. pic.twitter.com/CW4omRSw3g

— Dr Leah Broad (@LeahBroad) January 22, 2019

Having a bad day? pic.twitter.com/8UuYWk7Nqz

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) April 20, 2019

After Montenegro became independent of Yugoslavia, its internet domain name changed from .yu to .me

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 20, 2019

My kid is gaming with friends so I brought him a snack and he says, "Thanks, Love you" then laughter erupts on the headset and he goes, "What? You don't love your mothers? I'm sad for you." so if you need me I'll just be over here sobbing into my worlds best mom ribbon.

— Ashley McNamara (@ashleymcnamara) April 19, 2019

Every Dutch police car is equipped with a teddy bear to give children that are scared. pic.twitter.com/kdrH9PYjdq

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 21, 2019

If the resurrection was fake you have to say the scam has gone miraculously well

— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) April 21, 2019

6% of the Chinese population lives in the West, the other 94% lives in the East pic.twitter.com/ibabPzFxtR

— Amazing Maps™ (@amazingmap) April 21, 2019

If @MandSnews don't build an advertising campaign around @HackneyAbbott after this incident they'll be missing a golden opportunity

— Wayne Smith #FBPE (@waynesmith1971) April 20, 2019

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years.

Dogs run and they live for 15 years.

Turtles don't do anything and they live for 150 years.

LESSON LEARNT!

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) April 21, 2019

There is nothing more scary than people who aren’t scared by climate change.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 22, 2019

I found out about a 34 year old family secret this weekend, that turned one of our favourite family memories into something even better. I hope my friends on here enjoy it. I grew up in a country town, population 4,900. I was the youngest of three, with two older sisters.

— Matt Frost (@Phroosh77) April 22, 2019

Facebook – One more sleep until my gawjus princess and my lickle man go back to school.

Twitter – One more bottle of wine until I’m free from the kids again.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 22, 2019

#recap The Greatest Film Synopsis EVERhttps://t.co/JruIQWS1aE pic.twitter.com/QKKuyfFxDc

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 22, 2019

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to share three new photographs of Prince Louis ahead of his first birthday tomorrow 🎈

The photographs were taken earlier this month by The Duchess at their home in Norfolk. pic.twitter.com/VOJ7rhKthz

— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) April 22, 2019

Seems safe. pic.twitter.com/BcVmcxd9eG

— Darwin Award 🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 22, 2019

Blind auditions for symphony orchestras (the candidates play behind a screen) result in a dramatic increase in the number of women being hired.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 23, 2019

Hi Diane, can you get snapped whilst reading the
2017 Beano Annual?
We can’t shift them.
Thanks. https://t.co/kSTDu80vOJ

— Waterstones Liverpool (@WaterstonesLPL) April 21, 2019

BREAKING: Queen prepares for Trump visit pic.twitter.com/IyIbNtFZ7d

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 23, 2019

Security Level: Expert. pic.twitter.com/SVSxziItPm

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) April 23, 2019

Preparing a special handshake for the visit of Donald Trump. Well I need to practice my aim – he has such tiny hands!#TrumpUKVisit #TinyHands pic.twitter.com/cw8sST8TM5

— Evie the Cat (@HMCabinetCat) April 23, 2019

Make work slightly more bearable today but printing a little badge that says 'yeah it was ok thanks' and pointing to it every time someone asks how your weekend was.

— Dave (@davechannel) April 23, 2019

Instead of Trump doing a state visit can someone just send him to Harry Potter world in Orlando and tell him it's London and save us all the bother

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) April 23, 2019

After Buckingham Palace announces Donald Trump state visit, the Queen sorts out his lift from the airport. pic.twitter.com/kcA27mH4MY

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 23, 2019

Britain's only female duke is the Queen, who is the Duke of Lancaster

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 23, 2019

Doors open in 1.5 hours.

How's this for an idea;

1) come to the shop
2) let us recommend a book to you
3) read a chapter in our cafe
4) if you like it, maybe buy it (or not, if you don't)
5) repeat as necessary

We're going to call it 'bookselling'. We think it may catch on.

— Waterstones Swansea (@swanseastones) April 24, 2019

Shane Long has just scored the fastest goal in Premier League history at just 6 seconds! #long #SouthamptonFC #Fastest #PremierLeague #Watford #Football #ShaneLong pic.twitter.com/LnovR0gK1h

— Dale Jordan (@DaleTJordan) April 23, 2019

That Tory Power stance turns out to be harder than it looks. pic.twitter.com/SL1wMd43pN

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 25, 2019

Reminder that anxiety can be as dishabilitating as any physical health condition. Not something to be mocked or belittled. Not ‘feeling a bit stressed’. But like a total system failure where you are trapped in an absolute nightmare where the world no longer feels real. Okay bye.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 25, 2019

Seems legit. pic.twitter.com/jnrYatl5bh

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) April 26, 2019

John Rhys-Davies predicted in 2004 that by 2020 half the children in the Netherlands would be of Muslim descent. Actual % figure of Muslims in NL is currently 4% so they've got their work cut out. #bbcqt pic.twitter.com/DCun83divC

— Otto English (@Otto_English) April 26, 2019

Amazing the amount of people who think 52 per cent is a conclusive Brexit result but won’t accept the 98 per cent of scientists who believe we should take urgent action on human-made climate change.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 27, 2019

Best arrest ever pic.twitter.com/kxvnNm3HIs

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) April 22, 2019