ineke.co.uk

We have another word for this. https://t.co/o3UbrPm7Tp https://t.co/iVAV4PoA0N

— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) April 30, 2019

I just found out this is how they X-ray small children and I can’t stop laughing pic.twitter.com/crNsjYhtpK

— Professor Finesser (@mowziii) April 27, 2019

A rare sighting this morning in Roath, Cardiff of Hannah of #StormHannah fame who’s actually just an angry panda. pic.twitter.com/BFfCoXjjQj

— whatchrisdoes (@eatfooder) April 27, 2019

Just like @johnkrasinski I couldn’t wait any longer. Susan was just as shocked as @jennafischer Look familiar, @theofficenbc @netflix @Wawa pic.twitter.com/sbpRJ1krPB

— #LACKEYPRIDE (@CoachJLush) April 27, 2019

My father is in hospital being treated with profound kindness. I asked a nurse what we could do to thank them she asked for tea bags. The nurses bring in their own milk, tea and coffee whilst ‘For every £10 an MP spends on lunch, the public contributes £7.60’ FUp pic.twitter.com/KDAsCJnIy3

— Zeb friedman (@zebfriedman) April 26, 2019

I really give all of the respect to those running the #LondonMarathon and the money they’re raising – especially considering that running is the literal worst. Don’t @ me, nothing will convince me otherwise pic.twitter.com/t8CdCk4gZI

— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) April 28, 2019

Best parkour ever. pic.twitter.com/WeD3gxsruu

— Mr. Drinks On Me #MI (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) April 28, 2019

This is not what you need after 26.2 miles. pic.twitter.com/ZkmJftX0Hv

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) April 28, 2019

Marathon training isn't very fun but it will definitely help in the long run.

— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) April 28, 2019

A chocolate fact for marathon day! Snickers were NOT originally called Marathons. They have been Snickers since 1930 and were named after a horse on the Mars family farm. They were only called ‘Marathon’ in the UK, in an attempt by marketers to brand them as a ‘health bar’.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 28, 2019

Objects in the rear view mirror may be closer than they appear 😬

A race-ending reversal for Ricciardo and Kvyat #F1 🇦🇿 #AzerbaijanGP pic.twitter.com/E7AFcDpxzJ

— Formula 1 (@F1) April 28, 2019

One of the joys of parenthood: playing hide and seek with a toddler and deliberately not finding him for a while so you can sit down for a while.

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) April 28, 2019

Not by cats they’re not. https://t.co/PNAGsw6HiL

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 28, 2019

#LineOfDuty PLEASE let this be ‘H’ ….because it is… pic.twitter.com/Ocjnc3Nq8U

— Dawn French (@Dawn_French) April 28, 2019

Something to make you smile. By street artist Megx, the Lego-Brücke, or Lego Bridge, in Wuppertal, Germany, brightening up a former railway bridge. (Image: Morty) pic.twitter.com/2z42ixZneg

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) April 28, 2019

#anxiety sucks. Brains are stupid. I hate having #mentalhealth problems and how they just love to sneak up on you when you least expect it. Grr. #grumblegrumble

— Katharine W-R (@kwelbyroberts) April 29, 2019

pic.twitter.com/ykG3SYvG7w

— David Mitchell (@RealDMitchell) April 29, 2019

People who are still angry about Rose not sharing the door with Jack in Titanic 22 years after the film came out are the types of grudge bearers I aspire to be.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 30, 2019

We've had a small problem recently in the shop with bookworms eating the books, so naturally we got some bookfrogs in to deal with them.

Of course, then we had a bookfrog problem, so we acquired some booksnakes.

Then bookeagles were procured to deal with the bookfrogs.

Help.

— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) May 1, 2019

Boris Johnson (former mayor and current resident of London) tweeted that he just voted in the local elections.

He deleted when he was informed that there are no local elections in London today.https://t.co/p8Urwe1mC1 pic.twitter.com/nwH3Cj8pmm

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 2, 2019

If you don't laugh at 0:45 I'll give you your data back 😂😂😂💀💀 pic.twitter.com/LLyXBkyw7I

— Proxcey (@ItsProxcey) May 1, 2019

Farmer: I love my job.

Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.

Farmer: What did you say to me?.

Wife: You herd.

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) May 3, 2019

Powerless against moth season, I’ve started offering the children a pound for each one they kill in the house. 10/10 would recommend. pic.twitter.com/rkkLaCb8ft

— Katherine Ryan (@Kathbum) May 2, 2019

Donald Tusk: don't waste this time

UK: sack the defence sec
royal baby?
euro elections
check facebook
woo! summer!
front pages about the weather
browse Asos
new Tory leader?
take the bins out
oh yeah, Brexit

— Esther Webber (@estwebber) May 2, 2019

Me: “Wow, glad it’s Friday”

Theresa May: “This sends a clear message that you hate weekends so I am cancelling them”

— The Poke (@ThePoke) May 3, 2019

Theresa May saying the local election results prove people want Brexit is like saying Red Nose Day is proof people want poverty in Africa.

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 3, 2019

⁦hey @GWR⁩. This is poor. It’s 2019. This is what nurses wear!
Runner dressed as nurse denied Guinness world record as uniform. https://t.co/VftbfWeVSI

— Simon Mayo (@simonmayo) May 3, 2019

Novels with Googly Eyes – A Thread pic.twitter.com/HbCrRA2LwO

— WaterstonesTCR (@WaterstonesTCR) May 2, 2019

UKIP (ultra brexit) -70% 💀
CON (hard brexit) -25% 🤯
LAB (sneaky brexit) -10% 🤬
LD (Remain) +110% 😆
GRN (Remain) +550% 😆@bbclaurak analysis: "This could mean people want to just get on with Brexit" 🤪

— article 50 challenge (@A50Challenge) May 3, 2019

I don’t think I’ll ever get over being in the US and an “Irish Car Bomb” being something you willingly ask for in a bar. #BritishProbs #GFAFTW

— Matthew Lewis (@Mattdavelewis) May 4, 2019

UK: "We don't want to Brexit"

Tories & Labour: "This means we must get on with Brexit"

— The Poke (@ThePoke) May 3, 2019