ineke.co.uk

Jodie Whittaker is amazing. What a beautiful reaction from Anastasia and well played @TessDaly 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 #ChildrenInNeed2019  @BBCCiNpic.twitter.com/KMHeqCu8Pl

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) November 15, 2019

Reader, I laughed. pic.twitter.com/MKfUt2MBTU

— Anne-Elisabeth Moutet 🇫🇷🇺🇦 (@moutet) November 16, 2019

If ordering a pizza involves 33 (or more) yes/no questions then this claim checks out. https://t.co/Z7ADvgFruK

— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) November 16, 2019

We cry when we’re happy because our hypothalamus cannot distinguish between happy and sad.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 18, 2019

9:00 pm – Switch off computer 🍷
10:00 pm – 120 messages on work WhatsApp group telling you to "check Twitter now" 😳 pic.twitter.com/ErVOEXtNVi

— PizzaExpress (@PizzaExpress) November 16, 2019

Translation: ‘I’d rather be looked after by Rose West than a qualified medical professional with darker skin. I have, you see, succumbed to confirmation bias and no longer see people, just colour. I have lost sight of what it is to be human’ pic.twitter.com/D0OcDBirTc

— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 19, 2019

Well that’s Christmas Day games sorted 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻https://t.co/0JsYgrfdDF

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) November 19, 2019

Weirdly excited for tonight’s #ITVDebate. Perfect that it’s on #WorldToiletDay 😂

— Dawn Neesom (@DawnNeesom) November 19, 2019

If I wanted to watch two men stuck in the past row about how to deliver Brexit, I would have invited my uncles round for Christmas dinner

— Lib Dem Media Team (@LibDemPress) November 19, 2019

“No circumstances whatever that this government will sell the NHS to the US” says man who said under no circumstances would there be a border in the Irish Sea; or that we’d still be in the EU after Oct 31st etc etc. #LeadersDebate

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) November 19, 2019

“We’re the only ones you can trust” says party pretending to be an independent fact checker. pic.twitter.com/w2QH9MS5AX

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 20, 2019

This election. The political equivalent of choosing between the last two kids for the football team.

— @mrchrisaddison@dizl.de (@mrchrisaddison) November 20, 2019

As Prince Andrew steps back from public duties, UK wonders how it will cope without him occasionally turning up to open a post office.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 20, 2019

The world’s two most popular 93-year-olds at Chatham House tonight. pic.twitter.com/8EQ7y0Lb1W

— Richard Palmer (@RoyalReporter) November 20, 2019

So no one working at Pizza Express in Woking has come forward to say they remember the night that a FUCKING MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY came in.

I worked at Harry Ramsden’s in Birmingham 25 years ago and can remember Roy Wood from Wizzard coming in. Lovely bloke. #PrinceAndrew

— Steve Timms (@SteveTimms) November 19, 2019

Going to set up a Kickstarter to build a second sun that we hoist into the sky when it gets dark at 3 in the fucking afternoon. I need to work on the science side of it but I really believe in myself.

— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) November 21, 2019

Right, I bring you THE MADDEST LITTLE THING EVER. I only noticed this by chance today, I have no idea how long it has been there but; In the middle of Chiswick High Road there is a traffic island…. and somebody has built a tiny village on it. pic.twitter.com/5VyXYWM7qw

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) November 21, 2019

You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this
You’ve had 9 years to fix this https://t.co/ULU1obuYWi

— Dr Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) November 21, 2019

"Can you only smell carrots out of your carrot nose?" @joshgad #legitquestions@DisneyFrozen 2 is out! https://t.co/OMaNGrVA0x pic.twitter.com/SNRDYlklEo

— Everyman Cinema (@Everymancinema) November 22, 2019

French babies cry with a rising intonation, but German babies cry with a falling intonation.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 22, 2019

Corbyn
Sturgeon
Swinson
Johnson

Be honest, two hours of me licking myself would have made for better Friday night TV… #BBCQT pic.twitter.com/MN8mac8U9D

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 22, 2019

By taking several questions at a time it allows Johnson to avoid the difficult ones.

— Matthew Scott (@Barristerblog) November 22, 2019

Rainforest trees are so densely packed together that when it rains it can take the water 10 minutes to travel from the canopy to the ground.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) November 23, 2019

.@Channel4, treat Alex well, he needs feeding and watering when Greg isn’t around, we’ve left some eggs in the caravan for you.

— Dave (@davechannel) November 22, 2019

Poverty is not the fault of government, says Priti Patel with a straight face. In a food bank, in Barrow, where four out of 10 children are in poverty. https://t.co/b89IsQoa7E

— Audrey Gillan (@audreygillan) November 20, 2019