ineke.co.uk

Y’all need to see this video collage of all the crazy things my Physics Professor did this semester😭. He’s in his 70s and is still doing all of this for us🥺💛 pic.twitter.com/JaICjzVB5I

— Erica✨ (@its_riccaa) December 11, 2019

Jack Black forgot he was in a holiday movie for a second there pic.twitter.com/b6KdWR1hXY

— Variety (@Variety) December 10, 2019

Congrats is not truly congratulating someone. It is withholding letters through envy.

— Lucy Prebble (@lucyprebblish) December 7, 2019

Full respect to the guy who lives at No. 7 pic.twitter.com/DGuoFfjjiW

— Mig Weston (@MigsterMMA) December 7, 2019

I’d rather be 15 minutes from a great hospital thanks. https://t.co/mTpo6Aly6c

— Joanna Hardy (@Joanna__Hardy) December 7, 2019

pic.twitter.com/4SE0gW1z6u

— Dogs are the best people (@_TheBestDogs) December 8, 2019

i just found a “Christian version” of the Cha Cha slide & i am dying.
please god tell me this is the war on Christmas pic.twitter.com/XHDfq70ZOf

— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) December 4, 2019

utterly obsessed with this american site that has confused mince with mincemeat, and created this abomination pic.twitter.com/Y31NqYGYrV

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) December 9, 2019

"Hello. We understand that you are about to be in an accident that is not your fault." pic.twitter.com/Gpyl1gJKxE

— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) December 8, 2019

Shout out to people who put their Christmas tree switch in an accessible place and not behind ALL of the branches.

You guys have your lives together.

Solidarity to the knee-crawlers, showered in pine needles, cracking baubles and dodging eye-pokes. You’ve got this.

— Joanna Hardy (@Joanna__Hardy) December 9, 2019

The kids are going to so happy this Christmas. pic.twitter.com/TaV553pTpl

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 9, 2019

Plants have been recorded letting out high frequency squeals when they are deprived of water.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) December 10, 2019

Here’s your handy annual reminder that ‘Jingle Bells’ is actually ‘Jingle, Bells’ and ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ is actually ‘God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.’

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 11, 2019

I saw a real life Robin sitting with the flowers in Tesco and I LOVE him 🥰🎄✨ pic.twitter.com/SUqTxh5boU

— Hannah Grace (@HanGraceMusic) December 10, 2019

In my local area I've ONE sign outside someone's house supporting a political party. Literally one. I walk past it and marvel and think "there it is, there's the sign".

Anyone else noticed a general apathy about public signage – or just a quirk of where I live?

— Rob Manuel – follow @fesshole (@robmanuel) December 11, 2019

Actually, I think it's fear.

Used to be a sign of vague middle-of-the-road allegiance.

Now, putting up a Tory/labour sign outside your house is an act of (culture) war. Practically asking for your house to be vandalised.

— Rufus Hound 🌨 (@RufusHound) December 11, 2019

We will replace the traditional Christmas Tree for every home in the UK with a Magic Money Tree.#Manicfesto #GeneralElection2019 #GE19

— 📢 OfFiCIAL MoNstER rAVIng LOOnY PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) December 11, 2019

Whether you have a dog or not, please vote. #DogsAtPollingStations pic.twitter.com/VoZiEHKWLm

— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) December 12, 2019

BBC News just explained that I was allowed to share how I voted on twitter. I never thought you were interested, but here goes: I went to the polling station, put an X next to a candidate on the voting paper, and put the folded slip into a box. #keepingtheUKsafefordemocracy

— Geoff Smith (@GeoffBath) December 12, 2019

Not a fan of newspapers screaming at me who to vote for on #pollingday. Also not a fan of people on social media doing the same. Isn't it bizarre how broadcasters are forbidden from reporting anything other than 'the polls are open' while the rest of the media goes nuts?

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) December 12, 2019

“Anyway, I’ll let you get on” – Translation: Please leave me alone now

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 12, 2019

I asked the toy store assistant where the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures were.

She replied: “Aisle B, back.”

— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) December 12, 2019

Why Jesus is better than Santa:
1. He gives us what we could never deserve.
2. He has a heart for the poor, whereas Santa always gives rich kids nicer gifts.
3. He is with us all year.
4. He’s also, y’know, real.

— Sam Allberry (@SamAllberry) December 12, 2019

A recent study has shown that office employees are most productive if they work consistently for 52 minutes and then take a 17 minute break.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) December 12, 2019

For those of you saddened by the exit poll, please consider that 5 years is my remaining life expectancy and I have to live with him…

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 12, 2019

88% of Tory ads contained lies.
They lied re Brexit, 50k nurses, 40 hospitals.
They faked a video and fact check site
They faked news about a 4-year old & Labour spending
They paid for bots to spread fake news.
They suppressed the Russia report.

CONCLUSION
Lies work#UKElection

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 13, 2019

Jeremy Corbyn: pic.twitter.com/Pwd7bmYvvo

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) December 13, 2019

On the bright side, there’s only 1,602 days until the next UK General Election. #ElectionResults2019

— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) December 13, 2019

If you rearrange the letters of Postman Pat, he gets really cross

— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) December 13, 2019

BREAKING: Political arguments that ruin family Christmases predicted to rise by 30% this year.

— Dave (@davechannel) December 13, 2019

Check out the creativity of the Aviation security officers at Vilnius Airport! A tree made of confiscated items. "Knives, scissors, lighters, blades, and all sorts of other dangerous goods – this Christmas tree has them all." https://t.co/OAOyHxUKmo pic.twitter.com/WTwaPhP2gJ

— Lithuania Travel (@LTtravelUSA) December 11, 2019

Someone sent me the new U2 sat nav. It’s rubbish. The streets have no name and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) December 14, 2019

It's that time of the year again when I cycle round congested streets in the rain looking for some festive cheer!: https://t.co/4u80fR8eNt@Strava @cyclingweekly #stravaart #stravart #gpsdoodle #gpsart #cycling #Christmas #reindeer #Rudolph pic.twitter.com/Nzm3Rch9nJ

— Anthony Hoyte (@anthoyte) December 9, 2019

“The forest was shrinking, but the the trees kept voting for the Axe, as the Axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them"

— Rowena Arshad (@rowenaarshad) December 12, 2019