Inconsistent timelines in TV shows and films.
Bond film delays causing product placement havoc.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/741637949633124/permalink/1092650827865166/
The Second Breakfast Club.
— Eric Idle (@EricIdle) June 26, 2019
people recommend shows these days all "You just have to stick through seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4, and then it gets great."
That's Stockholm Syndrome
— natalie tran (@natalietran) January 24, 2021
Narrator: But they didn’t remain vigilant and they weren’t taking all necessary precautions to protect the public. https://t.co/bk52wqwlgw
— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) January 24, 2021
do landlords have shares in 3M command adhesive strips
— Rose Matafeo (@Rose_Matafeo) January 24, 2021
I fixed it for them pic.twitter.com/wjBaHEdS1p
— B (@_BillieBelieves) January 24, 2021
— Dave Gorman (@DaveGorman) January 24, 2021
No wonder my child was fearful of graveyards. She thought the flower holders were…
“breathing holes”
— Rebecca Rideal 💙 (@RebeccaRideal) January 24, 2021
Lockdown 1: Sourdough starters and Zoom quizzes!
Lockdown 2: Finding new hobbies and connecting with friends!
Lockdown 3: Staring directly into the void all day every day— Dave (@davechannel) January 25, 2021
Sometimes interspecies friendships need to be temporarily paused. pic.twitter.com/uTx0uXcaLb
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) January 25, 2021
So Sainsbury’s have pulled these products after Nestlé, Mondelez, Mars and Ferrero unsurprisingly failed to see the funny side. Which, knowing these bantz marketing types, was probably the intention all along https://t.co/nAyyQdC9lK
— CARPET (@WHS_Carpet) January 25, 2021
Funny how brand holders are OK with Lidl and Aldi with their lookalikes… pic.twitter.com/hjmdTiK8mF
— Mark Amies (@Superfast72) January 25, 2021
I hand-punched Shake It Off into this strip of card because lockdown pic.twitter.com/oWMhj8KI3l
— Andy Riley (@AndyRileyish) January 26, 2021
Okay, who did this? pic.twitter.com/bq3JT7TcHU
— jamie (@gnuman1979) January 25, 2021
Paying a bill:
Go to use website: “Sorry, we’re having some issues, have you tried our app?”
Download app: “Sorry! We’ll be up and running soon! Have you tried the website?”
Call on phone: “Sorry, we’re experiencing…”
Receive warning letter telling you how to get in touch.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) January 26, 2021
It might be easy to say “Well, we did everything we could. The govt did their best” No. I watched videos today of people in New Zealand enjoying a concert, not a mask in sight. There are many countries who got it right. We’re not one of them.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) January 26, 2021
It bears repeating: we’re an island nation and it’s taken our govt the best part of a year to require anyone coming here to quarantine. We’ve been too late to everything.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) January 26, 2021
We followed the wrong protocol, we’re late on lockdown, test and trace was a disaster, we didn’t shut our borders, we’ve only just introduced entry quarantine. We’ve got the 3rd highest death rate in world. I’d love to know what people think this govt did that was right.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) January 26, 2021
Britain now has the highest number of Covid deaths per million population in the world.
In.
The.
World.
— Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) January 26, 2021
Schrödinger's Kit-Kat. https://t.co/bZhc12fe29
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) January 26, 2021
I mean seriously. Is there not one person at Number 10 that looks at him and says “Smarten up”? He looks like he’s run a balloon over the top of his head for shits and giggles. Not. Good. Enough.
— Emma Kennedy💙 (@EmmaKennedy) January 26, 2021
My wife is a teacher and apparently one kid has been changing his name to 'Reconnecting' during the Zoom lessons so that he doesn't get asked any questions. Been doing it for weeks. The lad doesn't need to worry about his education, he's already a bona fide genius.
— Chris Arnold (@ChrisArnoldInc) January 25, 2021
It should be introduced as law that mp’s HAVE TO answer questions when being interviewed as a public servant. The way each of them repeat and repeat like a broken tamagotchi is absolutely infuriating whilst dodging very simple yes or no questions. Surely we’re owed that.
— Rylan Clark-Neal (@Rylan) January 27, 2021
Five ways the Asian/Australasian countries dealt with Covid:
1) Lockdown
2) Mask-wearing
3) Functioning test & trace
4) Hotel quarantines
5) Strict border controlWe tried half-hearted versions of 1) and 2), screwed up 3) completely, never even attempted 4) and 5).
— Jonathan Coe (@jonathancoe) January 27, 2021
Last paragraph! 😲 pic.twitter.com/SKLvmZICU5
— Mr B 🙋♂️ (@MrB_online) January 26, 2021
jacob making jacob making
breakfast for breakfast for
joseph his other sons pic.twitter.com/WgjrLXwdVD— Just Joshin (@joshcarlosjosh) January 27, 2021
PM “ we have one of the toughest (quarantine) regimes in the world”. Yes. He just said that. He just said that.
— Shelagh Fogarty 💙 (@ShelaghFogarty) January 27, 2021
Some good statistics for a change:
– People being pooed on by pigeons is down 132%
– Opportunity for napping is up 42%
– Awkward moments where you think you're going in for a handshake but a hug happens down 821%
– Guilt about eating crisps is down 73%— Dave (@davechannel) January 28, 2021
Taskmaster trauma dream: the task was to escape from an animatronic dragon. The producers lost control of it and it chased me and Key all over the place with genuine intent to kill. Stressful dream tbh.
— Mark Watson, author of Contacts, a novel which… (@watsoncomedian) January 28, 2021
Going on holiday in the same country is not a staycation it is a normal vacation! If you're staying at home doing holiday type things, it's a staycation!
Are the people at @BBCNews so posh that if it's not abroad it's not a holiday?https://t.co/Xo9mEcjyss
— Cathy Madavan (@CathyMadavan) January 28, 2021
“once COVID is over” is starting to sound a lot like “when the Wicked movie comes out”
— laura j. brown (@laurjbrown) January 23, 2021
Been tagged in this loads today as we’ve discussed bathroom eating on the podcast… but I have to say:
Full cake.
One fork.
Glass of champagne.Got to respect it!
Congrats 🎉 #ShaggedMarriedAnnoyed https://t.co/rimgWWsyiQ— Chris Ramsey (@IAmChrisRamsey) January 28, 2021
I imagine they were so relieved someone remembered to make one of them BAME that they called it a day and went to lunch. https://t.co/oM2x56rzPc
— Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) January 28, 2021
Me in the preview window before joining the zoom pic.twitter.com/uhaDTNijcc
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 28, 2021
Little Women and Derry Girls have convinced me: the correct ratio for any friend group is one boy for every four girls
— Angie J. Han (@ajhan) December 28, 2019
(if you’re wondering what’s to be done with all the extra boys, well: https://t.co/vKD1WGyWVS)
— Angie J. Han (@ajhan) December 28, 2019
Alan Turing used to chain his favourite mug to a radiator to stop it from being stolen.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) January 29, 2021
Please remember the guidance:
-Stay at home
-Protect the NHS
-Travel to Scotland for no good reason— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 28, 2021
Rich People: wHy dOn'T tHe pOoR jUsT iNvEsT tHeIr mOnEy
Poor People: Ok.
Rich People: …
Rich People: wait stop— Justin McDaniel 🏳️🌈 (@JUSTINtime4aLAF) January 28, 2021
robinhood decided this morning to suspend buying of AMC and GME stock because regular people were making too much money, proving once again that any time the poors find a way to get any sort of financial foothold in this world the billionaire class will move swiftly to crush them
— Ash WSB (@arshbajwaa) January 28, 2021
No one can accuse us of making unnecessary journeys. We are rewilding our car. pic.twitter.com/w2Unoj7MuD
— Grayson Perry (@Alan_Measles) January 29, 2021
Vaccine inequality in a chart. pic.twitter.com/aOF6PB04lp
— Andrew Wilson (@AJWTheology) January 29, 2021
This is the result of spreading dangerous covid conspiracies btw pic.twitter.com/hQx9rI3pn6
— 🦋midoriya 🦋 (@kemz_1) January 26, 2021
if british sitcoms were set during the pandemic pic.twitter.com/pF60iduWas
— Lucia Keskin (@chiwithaC) January 26, 2021
I mean… https://t.co/OXtlqLS7pd
— Georgia Tennant (@georgiaEtennant) January 30, 2021
A message of tolerance. pic.twitter.com/23jNpPzVEu
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) January 30, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?