https://www.facebook.com/groups/2526871460663546/permalink/4678132752204062/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1402783316563284/permalink/1841962979311980/
I thought it was suspicious when he combed his hair this morning… https://t.co/7tKJWjyjRq
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 29, 2021
I see @amazon have mixed up the phrase "shipping delays" with the words "a complete lack of moral sense and historical perspective" here. pic.twitter.com/CnbeQfXQVL
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) May 30, 2021
I got told off for sitting on one of the walls in the Abbey but 35,000 tonnes of explosives from the biggest band in the world was absolutely fine @coldplay #BigWeekend pic.twitter.com/DEiKbVxx6u
— Greg James (@gregjames) May 30, 2021
I fixed it.
— Molly Rebecca Wilson (@mollrebecca97) May 30, 2021
They are scared. The elite of the world are TERRIFIED because this means we are maybe taking a step towards rewarding hard work and intelligence over status and clout.
As a state school kid AND a Cambridge graduate,I can tell you, WE ARE GOING NOWHERE!#oxbridge pic.twitter.com/wmjZmFVjSN
If Old Etonians don't get automatic access to Oxbridge, before you know it they won't have automatic access to 10 Downing Street. And then where would we be?
— David__Osland (@David__Osland) May 30, 2021
Exciting new phrase for something you had no idea about previously and which instinctively seems like bollocks: "Is the PM a Catholic?"
— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) May 30, 2021
Pink robins exist. This is a real bird. What a planet. pic.twitter.com/rCj6Tqe7br
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 30, 2021
I do like the idea of Jenny Agutter running away from heavily pregnant women in case they go into labour and recognise her and ask her to help #CallTheMidwife
— Michelle Birkby (@michelleeb) May 30, 2021
An important reminder that Cookie Monster has a British Cousin called Biscuit Monster. You're welcome. pic.twitter.com/SbOLx7QYnL
— Deadly is making monsters (@deadlyknitshade) May 29, 2021
Absolutely love Call The Midwife. Wonderful wonderful lines that reach out of the TV and into our lives: “She has born a child out of wedlock. If that is what consigns her to the margins, the margins are where we dwell and do God’s work.” #CallTheMidwife
— Hannah Mather (@drhmather) May 30, 2021
This shop was, very briefly, called La La Land pic.twitter.com/xTJVOBhogt
— Jonathan Dean (@JonathanDean_) May 30, 2021
— not the bible (@thenotthebible) May 30, 2021
Okay I laughed pic.twitter.com/7KFsmTsAHp
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) May 31, 2021
Well ladies & gents. You might remember a few weeks ago, the police got in touch to say my wallet had been handed in, that was stolen 20 YEARS AGO. Well. Here it is….. pic.twitter.com/EButW5NfMG
— Ryan Seymour (@ryanseymour1983) May 29, 2021
What a gloriously beautiful day it is! Such lovely weather to go out and do something fun in the sun I think to myself as I close all the blinds, lay on the sofa and switch on Netflix.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 31, 2021
Keen to know why people I know are inviting me to things happening in the next month or so without consulting the Euro 2020 fixture list.
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) May 31, 2021
@WHS_Carpet Terrible trouble buying an ironing board from @Morrisons. No barcode. Got home and found it was printed on the back of the label, under the shrink-wrap! pic.twitter.com/D1qKg5et5l
— Printing on balloons & napkins (@Mike62985013) May 30, 2021
This man fought *actual* fascists in defence of our freedom.
— Darren Grimes (@darrengrimes_) May 31, 2021
This man did more for disadvantaged kids through his award scheme than any 'offended' uni lecturer.
And, frankly, if you're triggered by a photo of HM The Queen's late hubby – get a damn grip.https://t.co/yWzpwIGN4F
Britain's four seasons:
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) May 31, 2021
• Too cold to run
• Too wet to run
• Too hot to run
• September
Feel like I’ve landed in a parallel dimension where Prince Andrew didn’t go on national television and say he had a week long breakup party with a sex-trafficking paedophile pic.twitter.com/NFOeq9hNKu
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 31, 2021
when did Meredith Grey start designing bags for Aldi pic.twitter.com/mxUzsDRfr3
— Emma (@ssabbiths) May 31, 2021
To the 1% of people who achieved what they set out to do this bank holiday weekend, congratulations. To the 99% of us who arsed around and forgot to do anything useful with the long weekend, there's another bank holiday in August, we can try again then.
— Dave (@davechannel) May 31, 2021
Happy Birthday to this inspirational Olympian, Eric Moussambani! 😍#StrongerTogetherpic.twitter.com/OY25eNdGuY
— Olympics (@Olympics) May 31, 2021
The fury of the press when someone chooses politely not to speak to them is quite something.
— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) June 1, 2021
I’d wager that if the June 21st ‘freedom day’ were delayed by, say, two weeks to allow many more vaccinations, most of us would understand. Am I wrong? Go!
— Armando Iannucci (@Aiannucci) June 1, 2021
Size of that dandelion pic.twitter.com/XTqZhPIbvi
— Paul (@bingowings14) June 1, 2021
Admiring their blind optimism here that Hollywood actresses would be allowed to age https://t.co/BLX2rrqwV3
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) June 1, 2021
Piers Morgan says a female tennis player shouldn't play the sport if she can't face difficult questions.
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 2, 2021
Piers Morgan being asked a difficult question: pic.twitter.com/ConJ3lnh9g
Word of the day: CONFELICITY – joy in the happiness of others.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) June 2, 2021
My twin son, Henry, died 2 years ago this week. It’s bloody awful losing a baby, and nothing people say can make it ‘worse’ BUT thoughtless words can hurt/be triggering. Here’s a random selection of things I’ve had said to me since Henry died, with associated gifs.
— Dr. Elaine Gregersen (@alawuntoherself) May 31, 2021
I like to think I’m fairly intelligent but yet if I have an injury on my body, like a bruise or a cut or even something like a mouth ulcer, that hurts when I touch it then WHY OH WHY do I randomly keep hurting myself by touching it to test if it still hurts when I touch it.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 1, 2021
When the cameras stopped rolling today…… @chris_kammy went straight for the pan of @simonrim ‘s clotted cream mash 😍
— Steph McGovern (@StephLunch) June 1, 2021
Caught by producer @matjscott 🤣#stephspackedlunch pic.twitter.com/q3dDVx7FYw
Consider for a moment the fact that it has taken until *today* for arrivals from red list countries to enter Heathrow through a dedicated terminal. Insane.
— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) June 1, 2021
Swimmers enjoy warm weather in London at the Sky Pool which is believed to be the world’s first transparent pool built between two skyscrapers
— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) June 1, 2021
https://t.co/mtRX8qvt0a pic.twitter.com/2skTGK9Jp7
Be careful out there and 'passata safe distance'. 🍅😁 BBC News – A14 in Cambridgeshire shuts after tomato puree spillagehttps://t.co/CfDg2jdmCq
— Moorepheus (@moorepheus42) June 2, 2021
A14 closed after two lorries spilt tomato puree and olive oil across the road. Apparently one lorry jack-knifed, causing the second one to jack-knife, in a dolmio effect. https://t.co/r9Lrn18hgQ
— Drivelcast (@drivelcast) June 2, 2021
It’s an unpopular view but I just think we might all have to accept that we shouldn’t go on a summer holiday abroad during a pandemic.
— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) June 3, 2021
Latest summary:
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) June 3, 2021
WHAT THERE IS MONEY FOR:
£37bn on a failed Test & Trace
£billions on dodgy PPE deals for cronies
£16bn on bombs & guns
£200m on a big yacht
WHAT THERE ISN’T MONEY FOR:
Proper pay rise for nurses
Proper education for kids
— ex gay (@noleftairpod) May 29, 2021
Makes me wonder which cabinet minister has a friend from university whose pedalo manufacturing company is about to land a £200m contract for a luxury yachthttps://t.co/AdlYgkVTN7
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 30, 2021
Boris Johnson, March 2021:
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) June 4, 2021
“My biggest priority is to help children catch up on education”
In unrelated news, money to be spent on helping children catch up on education:
US: £1600 per child
Holland: £2500 per child
UK: £50 per child
Tell me how over the tell me without telling me format you are without telling me how over the tell me without telling me format you are.
— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) June 4, 2021
Instagram is helpfully countering vaccine misinformation. Good stuff I guess. But…WHO THOUGHT YOU COULD CREATE YOUR OWN HOMEMADE VACCINE??? pic.twitter.com/wLZtKmrmrc
— Bella Mackie (@bellamackie) June 4, 2021
Does Naomi Osaka even know who Piers Morgan is? If not I hope it stays that way.
— Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) May 31, 2021
It's absolutely staggering to me that a party which basically fought a referendum and a whole bunch of elections screaming about controlling our borders has, during a global pandemic, not even attempted to control our borders.
— Chris Addison💙 (@mrchrisaddison) June 4, 2021
Happy #Caturdaypic.twitter.com/PcGoDsvKzu
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) June 5, 2021
The warmer the weather, the longer the cat. #Science pic.twitter.com/qWCk57hZOq
— cluedont (@cluedont) June 5, 2021
This is BBC News with @MartineBBC and 'nope'…the wonderful Peter Beaven. pic.twitter.com/7s2g51TBBf
— Jack Surfleet (@JackSurfleet) June 5, 2021
Look I’ve heard it’s rough in AUS, but South Africa hits different. No morning swim today. from Wellthatsucks
Anything to add...?