ineke.co.uk

UNFORTUNATE SIGNAGE in Bury St Edmunds? pic.twitter.com/9Ud1Z3gPmS

— Dungerman-Rob Dunger (@DungerRob) November 2, 2021

Longest 10 minutes ever: Waiting for your food to cook in a microwave.

Shortest 10 minutes ever: Between hitting the snooze button and the alarm going off again.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 6, 2021

This man helps a sloth to cross the road and the sloth is so grateful.. 😊 pic.twitter.com/pmDXDUYgGd

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden_) November 6, 2021

Soap > Shower Gel

Follow me for more rock and roll tweets about my celebrity lifestyle #blessed

— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) November 9, 2021

Boris Johnson says he only wears masks in indoor settings with people he doesn’t know. Apart from hospitals obviously. No need for a mask there. pic.twitter.com/60lBRNABOp

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) November 8, 2021

Could it be that Boris Johnson strolled through a hospital unmasked so we would talk about what a selfish, uncaring moral void he is instead of talking about how corrupt he is?

Could that really be how far we’ve fallen? pic.twitter.com/wZFmEZim1v

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) November 8, 2021

Great question last night in the quiz @FarrarsArms

What was the character Norville Rogers better known as in the long running children’s television programme?

— Justin Moorhouse (@justinmoorhouse) November 9, 2021

And, lose a letter from Norville, and check out who Orville Burrell is.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 9, 2021

£82,000 a year is a lot of money. Boggles my mind that MPs see that as "ugh guess I'd better get a second job to top up this pittance" money rather than "excuse me while my eyes turn to dollar signs like I'm in a fucking cartoon" money.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 9, 2021

We know we should only be massively inspired and impressed by Chigs only learning how to bake last year. But we're also incredibly jealous that he's better at it than we are at anything else in our life. #GBBO

— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 9, 2021

EVERYBODY STAY CALM THERE’S A CRISP SHORTAGE.

SELL SELL SELL pic.twitter.com/aGUXxu6Ge3

— Greg James (@gregjames) November 9, 2021

After hearing the keypad karaoke this morning on @BBCR1 breakfast with @gregjames I decided to have a go at the unpopular opinion theme tune… conclusion – we should all stick to Mary had a little lamb pic.twitter.com/4b2hmBDE5I

— fruit flies like a banana 🍌 (@DaniedmundsDani) November 8, 2021

On Today prog this morning: Gordon Brown earns over £1m a year from speeches and writing but gives it all to charity. Some politicians really do have great integrity.

— Sonia Sodha (@soniasodha) November 10, 2021

Bolognese are coming
Bolognese are coming pic.twitter.com/iK9HoRYkp0

— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) November 10, 2021

Thick milk chocolate and moist coconut that only a sprout could love… 😢 #LonelyBounty pic.twitter.com/X0XjYu1EqG

— Celebrations (@UKCelebrations) November 10, 2021

"did you hear what the guy in the Fred Flintstone costume said at that fancy dress party in the UAE?!"

"the Abu Dhabi do?"

"i mean besides the obvious"

— Aaron (@AaronBoardley) November 10, 2021

please note that when we say we have 'the biggest Nutcracker in London' we mean THE BALLET https://t.co/c1DiAqMtds

— Royal Albert Hall (@RoyalAlbertHall) November 10, 2021

Discovered today that WD40 is so called because it was the inventor’s fortieth go at making a lubricant that worked through water displacement. pic.twitter.com/qpzclLh3Or

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) November 10, 2021

As Paul Rudd is trending (for being voted People magazine’s 2021 sexiest man alive) https://t.co/DnJdGhK8JI

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 10, 2021

It might seem like a small thing…but it REALLY delights me to have my name back. At 16 I thought I was ‘reinventing’ myself by getting rid of it…took me decades to realise I was actually hiding. Still Shap/Shappi/Dickhead socially…but this felt lush today. pic.twitter.com/WykYfq8sRs

— Shaparak Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 9, 2021

If an actual human showed the same obsessive interest in who wasn't wearing a bra as the Daily Mail does, they would be given a restraining order.

— Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes) November 10, 2021

Know what I heard a LOT about as a kid? Cooking apples. RIP to them, not a cool fruit this century.

— Bella Mackie (@bellamackie) November 10, 2021

Let Cummings get away with it
Let Patel get away with it
Let Jenrick get away with it
Let Hancock & Gove get away with it
Tried to let Paterson get away with it
Let himself get away with it over and over again

CONCLUSION
“Rule-breakers must be punished” https://t.co/8FIMLrj48F

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) November 10, 2021

This is Louie. He’s been catching flights while you’ve been catching feelings. 12/10 embarrassing for you pic.twitter.com/tap8D0ASX5

— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) November 10, 2021

Caramelogram pic.twitter.com/KhHPi9Uym0

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) November 10, 2021

An important point: The Prime Minister did more to save Owen Paterson than he’s done to save Nazanin #FreeNazanin https://t.co/8YinbAf2Zj

— Stewart McDonald MP (@StewartMcDonald) November 9, 2021

Not all 2nd jobs are created equal…

Take Rosena Allin-Khan

She is Labour MP for Tooting

…and Shadow Cabinet Minister for Mental Health

…and an A&E Doctor

Do you think that 2nd job helps or hinders her ability to be a good public servant?

That’s the difference@DrRosena

— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) November 10, 2021

Endlessly fascinating to me that from about 1997, life in this country got obviously, visibly, measurably better, and then around 2010 it just stopped. No idea what happened, seems weird

— Ahir Shah (@AhirShah) November 11, 2021

We've been speaking to people across the football community to launch #NoHomeKit. The idea is simple but powerful: this Boxing Day, clubs and fans ditch their home colours for their away or third kit, showing support for people who don't have a safe home.https://t.co/5Wse1LkFm9

— Shelter (@Shelter) November 9, 2021

As just mentioned on Zoe Ball on Radio 2, my recovering, post-op leg has gone weirdly dark and hairy, leading to me accusing my surgeon of transplanting my leg while I was knocked out. pic.twitter.com/xXtzcuhjJE

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) November 12, 2021

👀 pic.twitter.com/tgpmh1GymO

— Aldi Stores UK (@AldiUK) November 11, 2021

Tom Hanks as typewriters.

A thread. pic.twitter.com/aF5NmkqiSu

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 12, 2021

World population by 1° longitude bands 🌐#30daymapchallenge #day12 #population #qgis pic.twitter.com/moyw6LD8SX

— Helen McKenzie (@helenmakesmaps) November 12, 2021

"You were in talks to take a job yourself."

"No I wasn't. I was in discussion." pic.twitter.com/f7We5acRes

— Alex Nunns (@alexnunns) November 8, 2021

Major disruption between Bishops Stortford and Stansted after reports of a big cat on the line. pic.twitter.com/4dtNMHETOH

— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) November 13, 2021

What is it that Aljaz is always shouting at the other dancers as he leaves the floor? Is it his drinks order for afterwards?

— Victoria Coren Mitchell (@VictoriaCoren) November 13, 2021

I cannot put into words how much of a special moment this was 💕 The Drumathon has been overwhelming, but I’ll never forget these 2 minutes. What a team of drummers, thanks so much @MarkSkunkAnansi for orchestrating this performance pic.twitter.com/tvpKfCoJg8

— Owain Wyn Evans (@OwainWynEvans) November 13, 2021