Nobody noticed that Jesus Christ talking to 5,000 people without a microphone was a miracle.
— Itz_zino14 🇳🇬 (@HairByZino_) October 27, 2019
We just focus on bread 😢😢😭
logic checks out 🍝 🤌 pic.twitter.com/eBesn3BSJK
— Scuderia AlphaTauri (@AlphaTauriF1) April 24, 2022
Oh they were in the office – they just hid in the cupboard when Jacob appeared. https://t.co/dguJ3WrSzP
— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) April 22, 2022
Be nice if the conservative Party could choose their next leader for the benefit of the country not themselves no?
— Deborah Meaden 🇺🇦 (@DeborahMeaden) April 23, 2022
I see Oliver Dowden is on TV & still running with the defence that Johnson is incapable of concentrating on more than one issue at a time… which really should be a bit of a worry.
— bob evans (@thebobevans) April 24, 2022
Oliver Dowden has just told Sophie that the Prime Minister 'shares people’s frustrations’ over Partygate.
— Janine Gibson (@janinegibson) April 24, 2022
Oliver, Oliver, Oliver, he is the SUBJECT of the frustration. We’ve been through this
I think the support for @AngelaRayner would have a wee bit more force if it didn’t look like they were copying each other’s homework…. pic.twitter.com/gAg33U85Tk
— Jon Sopel (@jonsopel) April 24, 2022
Man who failed to notice fifty people having a Christmas party in his own house is distracted by legs. pic.twitter.com/woVYTprkAo
— Otto Von Jizzmark (@Ottojizzmark) April 24, 2022
Here’s a thought…
— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) April 24, 2022
If there’s no one good enough in the Tory party to take over from Johnson
Maybe the Tory party isn’t good enough to be in government
I'm endlessly fascinated by the Venn diagram of "You have to physically be in the office to be working" and "I used to declare directorships of companies based in the Cayman Islands and Singapore"
— Martin Belam (@MartinBelam) April 24, 2022
With 42% of the vote, Le Pen was wiped out.
— Farrukh #FBPE (@implausibleblog) April 25, 2022
With 43% of the vote, Johnson got an 80 seat majority.
This is why the UK needs Proportional Representation.
Isn’t he old enough to be referred to as “John” Depp?
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 25, 2022
PM was poor today, but you can’t blame him, I spent PMQs crossing and uncrossing my legs – I understand he is easily distracted by red heads…
— Tim Farron (@timfarron) April 27, 2022
If Elon Musk really wanted to show off his wealth he could’ve just bought an open return train ticket from Manchester to London.
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 🇺🇦 (@craiguito) April 27, 2022
I wonder what @DollyParton would have spent $43 billion dollars on.
— Nick Geidner (@ngeidner) April 26, 2022
It’s called “being in the EU”. pic.twitter.com/0jAmJrz6Xe
— Alex Bellars 🇺🇦 3.5%🇪🇺🏴 🔥 (@alexbellars) April 27, 2022
If you thought rail privatisation was bad enough, just have a look at what deregulation did to the buses.👇🏻🤦🏻♂️ pic.twitter.com/2EyrW3rXOQ
— Andy Burnham (@AndyBurnhamGM) April 27, 2022
I wrote code to automatically send my girlfriend a 'good morning' text each morning, with a randomised affectionate greeting, number of kisses on the end, and emoji from a predefined set. Brownie points like you wouldn't believe.
— Fesshole 🧻 (@fesshole) April 27, 2022
Hey @samsung how realistic do you think your advert of a woman running at 2am is on a scale of one to are you mad?
— Jack of all Tirades. (@InCockKneeToe) April 21, 2022
This couldn’t be further from the experience of pretty much all women, especially wearing headphones! Assuming the only women involved in the making was the actress
Alex's naughty pen gets him all hot under the collar in this outtake from episode 3. #Taskmaster pic.twitter.com/AOPIUrywYT
— Taskmaster (@taskmaster) April 29, 2022
wait Greg just said "I've stopped giving bonus points"? ABSOLUTE CHAOS IN THE SPREADSHEET
— Jack Bernhardt (@jackbern23) April 28, 2022
Pinning this for when my mum says I must just be too picky. https://t.co/eGlAOI9T08
— Hannah Rich (@hannahmerich) April 29, 2022
That moment when you find out that Nigel Farage nicked your tweet. pic.twitter.com/jFuetHCSyU
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 28, 2022
Just seen headline
— Jon Sopel (@jonsopel) April 29, 2022
‘Boris jailed for two and a half years’
That made me look twice….
I asked a group of 6 year olds "Invent a new Olympic sport"
— George Pointon (@GeorgePointon_) April 29, 2022
These will be rated.
A THREAD
My son lost his phone. Looked down side of sofa, couldn't find it. Said "Mom do that looking thing where if you look you teleport it to where I've looked." Reader…the phone was down the side of the sofa. #LearnToActuallyLook!
— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) April 29, 2022
So, he’s had more than a 60% fall in viewers since the first episode.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) April 29, 2022
Half the carriage is lads with tinnies off to Twickenham dressed as nuns, and a group of actual nuns have just got on. More as we have it.
— Hannah Rich (@hannahmerich) April 30, 2022
Good morning pic.twitter.com/FWmmO56YF8
— MJD (@mikeyjd1979) April 30, 2022
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?