ineke.co.uk

I'm so old I can remember when you could put your birthday cards on top of the television.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 10, 2019

I have found a pub that doesn't show sport it just shows live streams of puppies but it's different live streams on different TVs and this is the best pub ever pic.twitter.com/wNdbowg5Yp

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 10, 2019

Disgusting scenes at The Etihad as stewards force Chelsea fans to stay and watch the game. pic.twitter.com/0qCnRGYsdL

— Tim (@TimLawley82) February 10, 2019

Theresa May wants “more time” to strike a Brexit deal. She must be furious with the person who invoked Article 50 and started the countdown without a plan…

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 10, 2019

Even 11 year olds understand an overall warming of the planet does not mean cold weather won't happen. In fact, it destabilises weather patterns and makes freak weather at both ends of the spectrum more likely. You are too stupid to be president.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) February 10, 2019

I know nothing about this but if this isn’t a world record time I wanna know what is pic.twitter.com/bSKp1BasR5

— Jamie Bartlett (@JamieJBartlett) February 10, 2019

Every 2 years or so I cross paths with one of those squirrels that ain't scared of humans. What I wouldn't give to know its story.

— James Acaster (@JamesAcaster) February 11, 2019

My best friend's dad made a template of toast to take to Currys because he was sick of toasters not being deep enough. It's labelled and everything! Wish I'd done that. ❤️😄 pic.twitter.com/f5GTyK7mYx

— Sumudu (@sumudutweets) February 11, 2019

Word pic.twitter.com/EJxSdj9Q3n

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) February 11, 2019

Board game idea:

BONOPOLY: like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.#UKPunDay

— Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) February 11, 2019

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be amazed by the incredible product design magic show.pic.twitter.com/VyDfiJzgOE

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) February 11, 2019

I love everything about @prattprattpratt's response to the claim he attends an "anti-LGBT church". pic.twitter.com/rKe6ZCFE8M

— Sam Hailes ن (@samhailes) February 12, 2019

Everyone has a conspiracy theory. Mine is that all moisturisers are totally pointless and you age exactly the same anyway. It’s just a polluting face grease you rub on to make Clarins more money.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) February 13, 2019

Matt cartoon, February 14th pic.twitter.com/iThYMKItyi

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) February 13, 2019

Roses are red
Cats are courageous
It’s increasingly obvious that
Brexit is fiscally disadvantageous…#ValentinesDay⁠

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 14, 2019

Of the estimated 63,000 Google searches made every second, 15% have never been searched for before.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) February 15, 2019

"We need to appeal to young voters. What shall we do?"
"Tell them they're all stupid?"
"Genius"
"Tell them we don't give a shit about their concerns?"
"Brilliant"
"Destroy their futures?"
"AMAZING. The youth vote shall be OURS"

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 16, 2019

Right-wing priorities:

BAD THING
Kids missing a few hours of school

NOT A BAD THING
Heating up of the planet leading to global catastrophe and possible human extinction.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) February 16, 2019

'You don't get over grief, you just learn to have it as part of your life.'

This analogy of how we deal with bereavement is spot on.
BBC Stories: Like Minds on BBC iPlayer: https://t.co/pCSJFTACCK pic.twitter.com/dmdQhW9kVM

— BBC iPlayer (@BBCiPlayer) April 22, 2018

Retailing: a thread

— carpet (@WHS_Carpet) February 16, 2019