Quietly adding @Uni_of_Essex to my enemies list*.https://t.co/2s7eAVjVsN
— Matt Parker (@standupmaths) March 19, 2022
*yes, it’s in a spreadsheet pic.twitter.com/dVKaEsL9Gj
I don’t wish to brag or anything, but this evening I successfully opened a packet of bacon 🥓 using the “Peel Here” tab in the corner… no need for a knife🔪 or nothin’…
— Sam Quek (@SamanthaQuek) March 21, 2022
I really am most sincerely sorry if anyone thinks there is the slightest chance that I’m going to apologise.
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) March 21, 2022
Can you imagine having to explain to your kids
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 22, 2022
1) the challenger disaster
2) Big Bird was on board pic.twitter.com/8i97J4jthS
Here’s the best idea I’ve heard in ages
— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) March 22, 2022
At todays @WomensInstitute event in Hampshire they have a ‘UFO stall’
Un-finished Objects. You bring a project you haven’t finished or balls of wool, craft bits and bobs, and someone else buys it to finish or use
I park the forklifts at work next to one another at the weekend so they don't get lonely
— Fesshole 🧻 (@fesshole) March 24, 2022
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?