A practice I started adopting about a year ago is saying peoples’ names joyfully when they walk into the room
— mercer (@fishpresskeys) September 19, 2026
I enjoy seeing people’s reactions to being delighted in just for existing & seeing them relax
You can tell Ozempic and Mounjaro are popular…in our Timpson shops we have seen a 680% increase in the number of free holes in customers belts we’ve been doing this year.
— James Timpson (@JamesTCobbler) September 22, 2026
I blame the increasing anger of drivers on the fact that no-one seems to play music in their cars anymore. A good old singalong would really lift everyone's spirits.
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) September 24, 2026
…on which you are absolutely dying. https://t.co/tf1hN3C9e8
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) September 25, 2026
Yes, but not a joke. Agreed protocol.
— James May (@MrJamesMay) September 27, 2026
if “chances are slim” and “fat chance” both mean the odds are stacked against you, what is the ideal BMI of fate
— metaphysical lamb (@meta_lamb) September 26, 2026
I'm not going to be one of the people hating on Josh. For me the problem is that three hosts just aren't needed. He's just standing there awkwardly next to Emma without much to do. Josh should've been up where Johannes is and Johannes should be dancing imo. 🤷 #Strictly
— Siobhan 🇬🇬 (@slinehan1) September 26, 2026
There is a dangerous little window after I complete one task where I could either become unstoppable or look at my phone.
— Lynne (@_ayandamay) September 28, 2026
sepang my beloved ❤ pic.twitter.com/VZk1iippj1
— marie 🪐 (@mmxrie63) September 29, 2026
they do realise they named the programme ‘it takes two’ and proceeded to split up the twos it takes #strictly
— elianna (@strictlylmx) September 29, 2026
An eyelash’s main job is to keep things out of your eye.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) September 29, 2026
But nine times out of 10, when you get something in your eye, it’s an eyelash.
Isn’t it eyeronic.
Did it ever really exist??? pic.twitter.com/FiXaNhcLLX
— Dan Franck 🇻🇦🇺🇲🪖🎲 (@GrampsToolshed) September 29, 2026
Studying the mini map in case I get lost in the Minneapolis airport bathroom pic.twitter.com/IS9sxq6QDX
— waite (@coreywaite) September 29, 2026
There's a van near me that sells "Genuine Baked Potatoes" and I never worried that anyone might substitute a fake potato until I read their sign. But they don't make any claims about the legitimacy of the fillings they let you choose. That'll be where the crime's happening.
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) September 30, 2026
Impressive work from BBC News finding Andy Burnham’s sign-language stunt double. pic.twitter.com/KVn2sQMVgW
— Chuck Thomas 📺 (@chuckthomasuk) September 30, 2026
Anything to add...?